According to a recent study in Italy and published recently by the AP the institution of marriage is in clear decadence. Apparently less couples are deciding to tie the knot after they have had a "marriage-like" life together without the actual paper who legally says they are in deed a married entity.

European females in particular have become more and more independent and fearful of the commitment that a marriage brings on; they are also less interested in having children and that is mainly the reason why the population is only getting older. Now, these are all facts we all know, but do we do anything about it?. Does this information make me, non-european female think about "oh my god I should get married and I should continue population growth?" the answer is clearly negative.

The church and the religious leaders have made a strong case in favor of marriage and the old traditional ways of life. I agree and respect that yes, marriage in many cases (or just the lucky few?) works out great and its healthier for children to be brought up in an enviroment where there are 2 parents (and Im not talking exclusively about men-women couples, just healthy well established couples) and there is a sense of respect and authority. But I also strongly believe and encourage several "gray" situations that happen in real life and marriage is not the best option as the church says:

Teenage pregnancy: Teenagers should not be encouraged or pressured under any circumstance to get married when they face pregnancy, even if the "puppy love" feelings they have make them think they can conquer it all. I believe, and through observation, that this new families will not only grow up conflicted but it leads them into divorce faster than any other group.

Marriage through law, and any other religious belief should happen after both parties are 30 years and up. Now this is a point where I have faced many debate. I will explain why I think this, in a very simple way.

When you are a teen you barely know what the hell you want to do with your life, you usually live in this fantasy land where you truly believe you will be the next american idol or a succesful billionare or a rock star or a model, or whatever else we think about then. When you hit the early 20's is when you need to start building that dream or land on planet earth and begin the construction of "who you want to be" (professionally especially, college). Now, when you hit the mid 20's youre only either: still working on your inmmediate future (grad school, working, etc) or partying like a maniac or both. Your mind is not ready to settle down and you are still shaping your personality, learning, knowing others, deciding which path to take, becoming an adult.

In your late 20's, you are almost there, you should at least have a job by now, and be aware of yourself, you should be able to know right from wrong, and then embark into the 30's, I believe people are more capable of dealing with marriage once they have passed all this steps into becoming a partner to one person only and making a commitment.

I would dare bet any statistic and say that people who marry after 30 stay together longer than those who marry before their 30's....(I will do some research to confirm my theory). And this is NOT a general idea or a whole truth, my parents married in their mid 20's and almost 30 years later they are still together.

But we cannot ignore that generations are WAY different now, especially us, the gen x and y, 70-80's kids. We are way more selfish than our parents and our grandparents.

Now, the third point

Marriage is not something WE ARE SUPPOSED TO DO, especially as females brought up in societies like mine, mexican or latin american. An unmarried female is still seen as a weirdo, as a lesbian or as someone who is bitter and angry. There is a macho culture that women who dont get married are cursed, they MUST have something really wrong in themselves that no men would want to marry them.

So with that said, a lot of women marry out of desperation, out of impulse or fear. I have seen examples of women who would rather die in an abusive relationship than be single. Women build their self steem over how many men they have proposing marriage, or they go into this vicious circle of "married friends" and sucumb to the peer and social pressure.

Its ok not to get married, its ok to live with your partner without signing any papers, its OK to take your time and enjoy the present. Its ok to be single, its better to be single than unhappy in a unhealthy or stupid relationship.

Also, I believe that people should not settle for the previous reasons, for fear of being alone, for fear of staying single, etc. Women are more empowered now, we can take care of ourselves but it doesnt necessarily mean we dont need men at all. As much as I am a feminist, Im not a radical one. I believe men have their role in society, not as machos or so called head of society, I believe that being a woman is also recognizing our limits, letting go of the super girl role sometimes and I dont know any person who doesnt like feeling safe, loved and cared for by a loved one.

But I also think that we dont need to take any bullshit from our significant others, and bullshit is not a small fit, cheating which in my book of morals is the lowest most selfish disgusting act of betrayal and disrespect for a person, we dont have to take it. I dont care the "what if's", a cheater WILL ALWAYS cause you worry and dispair. A person who cheats, its most likely a cheater in all areas of life. And this is a black and white issue for me in particular. So, bs like this, depending on your very own book of morals, is the one that we, the new generation, men and women, heteros, gay, transgender, etc, should not take from anyone.

So, if you think about it, marriage is a very important desicion that, a lot of us, may not be able to take. I believe if people took the time to grow up, to know themselves and love themselves before jumping into marriage, divorce would be obsolete. Im not against marriage, Im not against formalities and morality, Im against precipitated actions without sustainable roots. Let us take our time to live every step and every phase in our life, I do believe in destiny and that things happen for a reason. If its yours, NOTHING can take it away from you and life is soooo misterious that it leads you into your own destiny without you knowing it.

 The Myth of Saint Valentine's

Apparently Saint Valentine was a martyr, who died on feb 14th and that is why this is the day of his name....but even the catholic church, the maker of all saints, has said he didnt exist and stopped celebrating his death because there is no cientific proof to verify his existence at all. For more information, but in spanish, go to today's Jornada paper (link on the side bar)

Anna Nicole, always incoherent, we will not forget you.

And its finally a friday, and I feel very proud of myself for keeping up with this blog for a week now or so. Im in a period of my life where I have little to nothing to do, except worry about what will happen in the next few months.

Im on hold for a program that I applied for. If that happens then it will mean that Im moving from the Bay Area in Norcal, to Washington DC, this is the best case scenario. I will be able to work and study, and contribute to a project that I believe completely.

Then if that all works out the other way, I will be going back to my parents house in Mexico for a short stay. I will travel to Mexico City and continue my application process for graduate school. Im almost done with all the paperwork about that, but I havent really studied for the test.

There are so many things going on in my head that I cant seem to do anything at all. Im mentally distracted because Im avoiding my reality at the moment.

I think Im more interested in the death of Anna Nicole Smith (Vicky Lynn) than in any other particular matter of my current life. I find this situation very interesting, she died misteriously, she had all this legal matters, her son's death was really fishy too and then that "husband/lawyer" Stern...her mother said that he was someone she should watch her back from. I wonder if there is a conspiracy theory about it.

A big heads up to Soldier Ehren Watada, who is teaching the public what dignity is.

Un reconocimiento al soldado Watada por demostrar valentia y dignidad.

For more information on this go to: www.alternet.org/waroniraq/47673/

www.thankyoult.org

Antes de empezar, quiero disculparme por no tener acentos y no tener incios de los signos de interrogacion, etc. Mi computadora esta en gringo y mis limitadas habilidades tecnologicas no me permiten encontrar la manera de incluirlos en ella.

Disclaimer: For those spanish speaking-reading-writing people, I apologize from the bottom of my heart but I do not have accents for the letters and I might have very visible grammar mistakes, which are not intentional but this computer is in "gringo" and my limited techie skills do not allow me to find a way to insert them.

El siguiente es un grito de auxilio para quien pueda hacer algo...

No hay peor sentimiento que el de frustracion, el de impotencia y la rabia que ambos traen a las personas. Como puede uno luchar ante algo inmenso? algo desconocido y que ademas nos da miedo? Bueno, pues yo no tengo la respuesta, pero despues de leer los diarios locales de mi chula Tijuana, me entere de las famosas "multas" de transito que han estado poniendoles a los automovilistas en la pintoresca ciudad. Todo debido al Big BROTHER, osea el papa gobierno. Ok, si, en el primer mundo (a.k.a EU) se hace lo mismo, pero la diferencia es que aqui todos los ciudadanos saben y estan completamente enterados de la medida. Conocen el alcance de las camaras y sus fotografias, anexo, multa, les llegan por correo a sus hogares con copia fidedigna de su carota y placas.

Por que esto no paso en Tijuana? si, la medida parece de lo mas novedosa, y creo que puede funcionar. Que bueno que multen a los mendigos cafres y calafieros, juniors y todos los tijuanos, que como buenos mexicanos tienen el sindrome de "se me hizo tardisimo ya". Sin embargo, no es justo que no se les indique la medida, que no se les haga saber de sus multas cuando suceden y que a la hora que tienen que ir a renovar su tenencia se las inserten por donde no se debe meter nada.

Ahora, todo esto lleva un contexto, el infame alcalde de la ciudad, hombre de dudosa reputacion y peligrosas ambiciones, quiere ser el gober "mafioso" de Baja California. Y no dudo lo logre por medios tan dudosos como su reputacion misma. Pero en que le puede estar ayudando esta medida intransigente de multar sin avisar, de cobrar multas sin justificantes, quiero que me manden las fotos primero, que me comprueben que fui yo quien se paso el alto y quiero ver mi carota en el papel, ahi si, ni alegar podria.

Ahora, si el correo en Mexico es una verdadera broma de pesimo gusto, como esperan que el ayuntamiento mande las multas?....si para cuando lleguen ya se paso un buen rato?, ah eso no le importa a nadie,. eso no lo consideran, o que?

Es hora de poner un alto a esta impunidad y malos tratos de gobiernos corruptos y aprovechados. No es la medida, es la forma de actuar y hacer las cosas. Espero las personas en la fronteriza ciudad hagan algo al respecto, aunque entiendo por que no lo hacen, es muy peligroso enfrentarse a un ayuntamiento como el que tenemos hoy en dia alla.

TOPIC: THE MYTH OF GLOBAL WARMING?

Ok, Im not scientist. I barely passed biology and chemistry in high school. I do not know how to convert celcius into farenheit or cm to inches and so on. I do not have much knowledge about climate change, and no, I havent seen Al Gore's "The Inconvenient Truth" movie, which according to other viewers is a Global Warming 101 for all retards like me.

BUT I do know that recently the weather has been more than weird back in my country. I can only speak of what I know, which is very little, but ok, so, people are freezing there. We had never had snow in cities and minus-cero temperatures. We always complained that there were no places to go snowing, I mean, common' a mexican skii champion?, "Mexico wins the gold medal in the winter olympic games?" NO, WE DONT HAVE (or at least until recently) SNOW!!

So, that is the first sign of something fishy going on in the world. Which makes me think, that this effect, of having snow where there was none before could be a new threat for those who feel so safe that mexicans only know snow in an ice cone...(ok, in spanish, snow is "nieve", which translates into snow....so for us, nieve could be either ice-cream or snow) could be wrong and now we will not only continue the re-colonization of California, and neighboring states, but we will become a possible competition in the winter-sports department.

I am praying for this weather to get better because over there my friends, there are no houses with heaters included. People who live in carton houses, OBVIOUSLY dont have enough resources to survive this extreme change in temperature. People make fires to get themselves warm, but some die from carbon-monoxide poisoning. Little kids and elders catch a cold and its done.

I would encourage all of us to find ways (and supplies) to help those who have nothing, to begin with contact the red cross in your area, find a donation place and bring blankets, jackets, socks, etc.

And, well, about global warming, lets watch the movie, educate ourselves (I will do that I promise) and stop using so many resources that are unnecessary. Take care of our little global village.

This is the 10,0000 attempt I take on to create a blog. The problem is keeping it up. I often forget my password, and truly I AM NOT a tech-savvy-geek.

So here it goes again, this time is called "Very Particular" and it will be a blog mainly about my take on news issues that affect my world and that of a lot of other people. I also do it because as a journalist in exile, and who has been away from writing I need to come back to the basics.

It will be in both english and spanish. I do not promise that every single article will be fully translated because its annoying sometimes, plus my brain shifts between those 2 languages very often and its a hassle.

I decided to name it this way, Muy Particular, because apparently that is the best definition of me. According to family members, and friends I do not fit any of the regular patterns of 26 year old females, (especially not the mexican stereotype in many ways).

To further explain:

I am mexican, born and raised there...not chicana, not mexican-american, not nothing, just a bilingual mexican who ended up here in the states for some random reason I will (or not) explain later.

I am not married

I do not have kids...I managed to stay un-pregnant through my teenage years

I do not have long, highlighted, ironed-straight hair

I left my family's house when I was 23 to live with a foreigner

Anyways, those are just some of the things that make me "very particular".